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Blogspot is Dead.

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Dying.

Depressed.

It must be something in the water, because I haven't been feeling to good recently.

The thing thats at the centre of all of this is my seemingly growing hatred for everyone. I don't understand peoples decisions, I really wish I could.. Why do people have to hurt others, do they even know how much they are hurting them? I would do anything for my friends and family, 100% ANYTHING.. But I don't seem to get the same back.. I just wish.. I don't know.

I'm just.. Not feeling to good today.. And I wasn't yesterday. And for like, 348962936 days before that. I just wish people would wake up to themselves. Gr. Idk.

On a lighter note, I think one of the recent messes are finally clearing up, which makes me a little happier.

Eh.

Fucking Angry.

I'm actually really sad at the moment.

And I have been for a few weeks now.

I've finally accepted that I'll never ever have friends like I did in Melbourne. They were the best people I will ever meet, and although I've made friends in Wodonga, it's not the same.

I really connected with these people in Melbourne. We always sat together at lunch, we were always happy and we always hung out outside of school. In Wodonga, I've really struggled to find any connection with anyone. Sure I've made some cool friends and they're real nice and funny. But nothing is the same as Melbourne. Which makes me feel like a cunt, cause if Wodonga people read this they'll be like "wtf?". I appreciate them, and I do have fun. I just wish I never got expelled.

I swear I'm going to fucking lose it real soon if I stay here.

A whole basket of goodies.

Oh hello there.

This is just a random blog for the sake of blogging because it's early for me but I couldn't sleep for some reason, which is one of the things I plan on discussing below.

I'll start off with the Deb. Oh my god.
It's in less than a week and I'm so nervous it isn't funny. I have to go get my suit + still learn the dances. And to make things harder, I just realised no one will be here to take me to get my suit before thursday. Yay. BUS x 23984623. I'm excited though, I plan on going out there and just really getting into and and making a fool of myself. And I will feel sorry for those people who are like, all serious and shit. It's like DUDE CHILL, IT'S JUST THE DEB. :)

Also, I have realised I'm really emotionally fucked up? Like, I'll really like someone. And I'll lead them on and on and on, and we'll get into it and shit and then when it's time to commit I push them away and have a massive cry how I lost them? At my year 11 Retreat we had this big talk thing, and I was asked to get up infront of the year level and discuss how someone had hurt me and how it had affected me to this very day. So I spoke about how my Dad left and now I find it hard trusting people and letting people in. I'm so scared that the people I love are going to hurt me, so I just never let people get close enough to do so. And whats even worse is that all the people that I have let in, still hurt me one way or another. I'm so fucking fragile it's really embarassing to be honest. But whaaaaaaaatevs.

Now I'm going to speak about the fact that I really miss my family in Adelaide. I think I might move there when I finish school, purely so I can just like, visit my siblings and cousins all the time. My Mums side of the family is amazing, and they are the most awesome bunch of people I have ever met. And I miss them allllll the time. My visits there are always ones to remember, and I'm going to miss these days when I'm like 40 and can't just go stay at my Aunties and stay up all night with my cousins.

Anyway. Thats all.

And yes, I think you've realised that I've bullshitted on about little things just to kind of cover up the middle paragraph? Hahahaha..

EDIT: I miss Steb, Molly, Amber & Jaime like mad.. :(

I am Andy.

MAD.

I'm so furious at the moment!
I'm so furious, it's unbelievable.

Why can't people just be normal?
Why do people feel the need to fuck around with others?
Try and do the best for the people you love..
Don't go putting yourself fucking first, think about what the fuck you're doing before you go and create a situation.

And I'm really confused at the moment about this laaarvely girl I like quite a bit.
Everything just fucked up in a matter of 3 seconds today, my heart just dropped.

FUCK EVERYTHING.

The strange boost juice girl.

Not too long ago, I went to the plaza with my friends Kayt and Gemma. We decided to go to boost juice. This is where I met one of the strangest people of all time. She was wide eye'd and seemed very detached from reality, as if she were constantly high. She honestly, freaked me out a little bit. But here is how my experience went with the Boost Juice Girl from mine and Kayts point of view, shortly after getting my drink..

"Hello, welcome to boost juice, how may I help you? This is what i call the "Ordering" stage. This is where you read the signs clearly shown here to my left, right and above me. on these boards, there are lists of different juices you can purchase. once you have made your decision, you open your mouth and use your words to tell me which one you would like and in which size. once this decision has been made, i will type it into the computer and ask for your name. now, don't feel in danger, i'm not interested on asking you out on friday night - although i'd quite enjoy it - it is simply used so you know when your order is ready."

"...can i please have a large king william choc..."

"as you can see, i am now typing your order into the computer. this involves the movement of my hands and fingers interacting with this here computer. may i have your name please?"

"Errr, andy."

"Order stage is now complete. Now entering the "Payment" stage.

It is now time for payment. this is where you will pay me, the recipient, the exact cost of the boost juice in which you just ordered. here, you place your hand into your pocket or bag and reveal your wallet. you then will take money from it and pass it to me, where i will place my hand palm facing up for you to drop the money onto it. if any change is required, i will then put the coins or notes in which you have just paid into the till and calculate how much i am to repay you. i then will take this repayment from the till and place it into your palm, which will hopefully be facing up and allow me to place the change into your possesion. That is the end of the Payment stage.

I'm now begining what I call the 'making the smoothie' stage. This is where all ingridients, whether it may be fruits or milk or ice, into a blender and then turn it on to mix it up. Here I am placing the ingridients into the blender. Now i will walk over to the blender machine, set it down into the blender machine, and press the on button. The on button sparks a trigger which then spins the blades, dicing and mixing in all ingridients to create a lovely smoothie. Now i'm going to grab a cup, pour in the liquid and place a lid on top firmly so it will not fall off. Here is "Andy's Order"

"im just going to go over and get my.. oh, my bags caught"

"*HER EARS PRICK* CAN'T GET TO THE JUICE? SOMEONE NEEDS MY HELP. *GRABS BOOST JUICE AND DIVES OVER COUNTER.* OKAY. I'm going to help you on how to stand up. first of all, relax. standing up requires little effort, but if stressed, can become rather difficult. once comfortable, place your feet firlmy on the ground, evenly apart. then move your body weight forward, shifting your centre of gravity from the chair to your feet. slowly straighten out your knees and prepare to take the weight of your body. once your knees are straight, you've successfully stood up. here is your juice. i'm now commencing the passing over of your boost juice. this is when you, the recipient, places your palms on either side of the boost juice cup and recieves it from me. then once i have passed it to you, you may drink it whenever you like."

"Um, thaaanks?"

I am Andy.