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Blogspot is Dead.

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Dying.

Depressed.

It must be something in the water, because I haven't been feeling to good recently.

The thing thats at the centre of all of this is my seemingly growing hatred for everyone. I don't understand peoples decisions, I really wish I could.. Why do people have to hurt others, do they even know how much they are hurting them? I would do anything for my friends and family, 100% ANYTHING.. But I don't seem to get the same back.. I just wish.. I don't know.

I'm just.. Not feeling to good today.. And I wasn't yesterday. And for like, 348962936 days before that. I just wish people would wake up to themselves. Gr. Idk.

On a lighter note, I think one of the recent messes are finally clearing up, which makes me a little happier.

Eh.

Fucking Angry.

I'm actually really sad at the moment.

And I have been for a few weeks now.

I've finally accepted that I'll never ever have friends like I did in Melbourne. They were the best people I will ever meet, and although I've made friends in Wodonga, it's not the same.

I really connected with these people in Melbourne. We always sat together at lunch, we were always happy and we always hung out outside of school. In Wodonga, I've really struggled to find any connection with anyone. Sure I've made some cool friends and they're real nice and funny. But nothing is the same as Melbourne. Which makes me feel like a cunt, cause if Wodonga people read this they'll be like "wtf?". I appreciate them, and I do have fun. I just wish I never got expelled.

I swear I'm going to fucking lose it real soon if I stay here.

A whole basket of goodies.

Oh hello there.

This is just a random blog for the sake of blogging because it's early for me but I couldn't sleep for some reason, which is one of the things I plan on discussing below.

I'll start off with the Deb. Oh my god.
It's in less than a week and I'm so nervous it isn't funny. I have to go get my suit + still learn the dances. And to make things harder, I just realised no one will be here to take me to get my suit before thursday. Yay. BUS x 23984623. I'm excited though, I plan on going out there and just really getting into and and making a fool of myself. And I will feel sorry for those people who are like, all serious and shit. It's like DUDE CHILL, IT'S JUST THE DEB. :)

Also, I have realised I'm really emotionally fucked up? Like, I'll really like someone. And I'll lead them on and on and on, and we'll get into it and shit and then when it's time to commit I push them away and have a massive cry how I lost them? At my year 11 Retreat we had this big talk thing, and I was asked to get up infront of the year level and discuss how someone had hurt me and how it had affected me to this very day. So I spoke about how my Dad left and now I find it hard trusting people and letting people in. I'm so scared that the people I love are going to hurt me, so I just never let people get close enough to do so. And whats even worse is that all the people that I have let in, still hurt me one way or another. I'm so fucking fragile it's really embarassing to be honest. But whaaaaaaaatevs.

Now I'm going to speak about the fact that I really miss my family in Adelaide. I think I might move there when I finish school, purely so I can just like, visit my siblings and cousins all the time. My Mums side of the family is amazing, and they are the most awesome bunch of people I have ever met. And I miss them allllll the time. My visits there are always ones to remember, and I'm going to miss these days when I'm like 40 and can't just go stay at my Aunties and stay up all night with my cousins.

Anyway. Thats all.

And yes, I think you've realised that I've bullshitted on about little things just to kind of cover up the middle paragraph? Hahahaha..

EDIT: I miss Steb, Molly, Amber & Jaime like mad.. :(

I am Andy.

MAD.

I'm so furious at the moment!
I'm so furious, it's unbelievable.

Why can't people just be normal?
Why do people feel the need to fuck around with others?
Try and do the best for the people you love..
Don't go putting yourself fucking first, think about what the fuck you're doing before you go and create a situation.

And I'm really confused at the moment about this laaarvely girl I like quite a bit.
Everything just fucked up in a matter of 3 seconds today, my heart just dropped.

FUCK EVERYTHING.

The strange boost juice girl.

Not too long ago, I went to the plaza with my friends Kayt and Gemma. We decided to go to boost juice. This is where I met one of the strangest people of all time. She was wide eye'd and seemed very detached from reality, as if she were constantly high. She honestly, freaked me out a little bit. But here is how my experience went with the Boost Juice Girl from mine and Kayts point of view, shortly after getting my drink..

"Hello, welcome to boost juice, how may I help you? This is what i call the "Ordering" stage. This is where you read the signs clearly shown here to my left, right and above me. on these boards, there are lists of different juices you can purchase. once you have made your decision, you open your mouth and use your words to tell me which one you would like and in which size. once this decision has been made, i will type it into the computer and ask for your name. now, don't feel in danger, i'm not interested on asking you out on friday night - although i'd quite enjoy it - it is simply used so you know when your order is ready."

"...can i please have a large king william choc..."

"as you can see, i am now typing your order into the computer. this involves the movement of my hands and fingers interacting with this here computer. may i have your name please?"

"Errr, andy."

"Order stage is now complete. Now entering the "Payment" stage.

It is now time for payment. this is where you will pay me, the recipient, the exact cost of the boost juice in which you just ordered. here, you place your hand into your pocket or bag and reveal your wallet. you then will take money from it and pass it to me, where i will place my hand palm facing up for you to drop the money onto it. if any change is required, i will then put the coins or notes in which you have just paid into the till and calculate how much i am to repay you. i then will take this repayment from the till and place it into your palm, which will hopefully be facing up and allow me to place the change into your possesion. That is the end of the Payment stage.

I'm now begining what I call the 'making the smoothie' stage. This is where all ingridients, whether it may be fruits or milk or ice, into a blender and then turn it on to mix it up. Here I am placing the ingridients into the blender. Now i will walk over to the blender machine, set it down into the blender machine, and press the on button. The on button sparks a trigger which then spins the blades, dicing and mixing in all ingridients to create a lovely smoothie. Now i'm going to grab a cup, pour in the liquid and place a lid on top firmly so it will not fall off. Here is "Andy's Order"

"im just going to go over and get my.. oh, my bags caught"

"*HER EARS PRICK* CAN'T GET TO THE JUICE? SOMEONE NEEDS MY HELP. *GRABS BOOST JUICE AND DIVES OVER COUNTER.* OKAY. I'm going to help you on how to stand up. first of all, relax. standing up requires little effort, but if stressed, can become rather difficult. once comfortable, place your feet firlmy on the ground, evenly apart. then move your body weight forward, shifting your centre of gravity from the chair to your feet. slowly straighten out your knees and prepare to take the weight of your body. once your knees are straight, you've successfully stood up. here is your juice. i'm now commencing the passing over of your boost juice. this is when you, the recipient, places your palms on either side of the boost juice cup and recieves it from me. then once i have passed it to you, you may drink it whenever you like."

"Um, thaaanks?"

I am Andy.

Laaaarve.

Oh haaaaaay!

I hate liking people. In the sense of friends, as well as more than friends.
It's just going to fuck shit up if I do anything about anything.
So I'm going to keep quiet I guess.
Eh, that's all.

KBYE.

Friends.

Why hello there blog readers and what not.

My blog posting has come to it's lowest of all time! Shocking.
I've been busy with school and exams, and hanging out with my friends.
Lately I've been struck with a serious illness..

Nostaliga.
(nos·tal·gi·a
1. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.
2. The condition of being homesick; homesickness.)

I just wanted to make a post about all my friends in general, cause I know that all those individual posts never came.

First of all, my time in Melbourne was amazing. It was full of amazing people and amazing memories I'll never forget. I'll always remember those days at school, sitting in our own corner, bashing up little kids and jumping on the poles, then that night we'd all go to ones house and dress up, or make a cubby, make a soap opera or watch disney movies until I went delirious from sleep deprivation. Everyday I think of those times and really appreciate what I had, and realise that because of my actions, I'm now missing out on them. Everytime a group of photos from a party go up and I see everyone there having a good time, I can't help but feel jealous of what I'm missing out on. For those people who made a direct impact on my life, and you know who you are, I truly appreciate every single moment I spent with you, and hopefully, plenty more will come in which I can then appreciate. I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly and leaving pre-made plans like a ship wreck, i.e. the Deb, but it was unintentional and I will make it up to you. Me living so far away has put quite a strain on my relationships, from my point of view anyway, and when I come down to visit, I don't mean to be a burden. I have minimal places to stay and want to spend multiple nights at your house, and I understand it can be hard, and for that, I'm sorry too. I don't want ot make having me as a friend a strain on everything, but even spending a few hours with you, although would be slightly heartbreaking when I leave, is worth it in every way possible. I love you all so much.

Now onto Wodonga. I haven't been here very long, but I can tell I've made some friends for life. I'm glad I got the chance to come here and meet so many more wonderful people. You've made the transition so much easier for me by how accepting everyone has been. Every weekend I have some where to go and someone to see, and I feel really welcomed, like I'm one of the group. Lunch times are just the best, sitting by E block or the front lawn, being absolute tards alllll the time. I've met such a micture of people who just constantly make me smile, and it makes me happy to come to school. You all already mean so much to me.

Anyway. Just felt like being all emotional and shit, so yeah.

I am Andy.

currently listening to:
Rediscover - I will forget you.
currently watching:
livelavalive on youtube!
favourite thing atm:
my new jumper (L)

my little country town.

alot of time has passed since my first blog, and although i'm still struggling to adapt to the cultural and social differences that seperate the city from this country town, im begining to really love this place.

not because of it's wonderous things to do but because i have met alot of wonderful people. things have been looking up very much so for me here, and although melbourne will always be my home, and i'll be moving back there soon, being here right now isn't so bad.

thats all i really wanted to update you on.

I am Andy.

intolerance.

ah it's been a while, and my posting has become close to obsolete. this would probably be because of the high importance of schooling at the moment, with a SAC just passed on wednesday for my year 12 subject, Legal Studies.

but here i am again, ridding of everything on my chest, and by that, i mean problems and nothing more.

first off, im tired of myself. i don't know if it is just me, but i'm extremly impatient and can hardly tolerate anyone these days. i see flaws in everyone and everything, and question why things happen.

one thing that has been on my mind, is whenever i have conversations with certain people, it seems they think it is a one way street. they tell me all about themselves and the stories they have to share, but when i begin to speak, it becomes a simple "cool.. i have to go now." why can't you just sit down and shut the fuck up for a few seconds of your life and listen to me, it's the least you could do after i have listened to your pathtic, boring stories which weren't even funny. take a few moments out of your pathetic life, and think about the people around you. they are being considerate listening to you, listen to them..

also, although i have sorted some things out with this person, i'd like to express my concern. please note, they are being used as a recent example, seeing as this happens regularly. just because i made a few remarks about you to your face, in a joking manner, does not mean you can throw away a relationship whenever you like. relationships are something you make and they stay or go, you can't decide, whenever you like it, that it exists or not, we're friends or not friends, it's simple. you can't plan that you're going to ignore me for a certain amount of days and then speak to me after that certain amount of days. during those days, you caused me 10 x the amount of stress i gave you to make you ignore me, yet i'm the one who kept calling you through it all, having my calls rejected. i'm the one who wanted to sort it out, and i'm the one who eventually did sort it out, one way or another.

eh, that is all.

oh, and check out Death Note. possibly my favourite anime ever, considering i hate anime. i just finished watching the series.. my life is empty as of now, hahaha.

I am Andy.

i'm just going to take this moment to "seek attention" and be a "Drama queen", you don't mind, do you?

this is just simple thoughts, i'm not trying to flame anyone, and don't overreact when you read this.. or do, you'll only be proving what i've said right.

within the past week, i've made multiple discoveries. one of the main ones is about people and the way they act when it comes to their own opinions. it's sad that we live in a time where other people can have such an effect on people where they can change their opinions on something. since when did it become normal to convince people not to like someone, because you yourself have a problem with them? and when did it become acceptable to allow that to happen? and why would you decide to ignore someone because one of your friends doesn't like them. use this brain you non-stop brag about, and think for yourself.

another discovery i made is people will use you, milk you for everything you can offer them, then when they're done, they will dispose of you like a used tissue. the last thing people want to feel is like they're unimportant and just another object in someone's static, lonely, pathetic life. why do people think they have the right to treat others with such disrespect? all people want is someone to be there, someone to talk to and someone who appreciates them, why is it so hard to accept that and do it, you won't be losing anything.

and finally, i have realised people are complete cunts. and in conclusion, i no longer am going to bother with friends.

but then again, i also believe in forgiveness and acceptance. nothing really can be destroyed, it can only be hindered.

please note, this is not aimed at anyone in particular. but if you think it is aimed at you.. you're probably right.

I am Andy.

The Hangover.

Evening blog readers and what not.

I love linking ordinary pointless things with important matters in life.

This morning I woke up with a massive hangover, to the extent where i might have just lived in the toilet. Although some people see this as a problem, i can guarantee i do not have a problem. When i have the chance to drink, i take the chance to forget.

Anyway, what im getting at is today i was thinking. I was reading over a few things and purely thinking about everything around me in detail. And i realised relationships are like common alcohol. You find it, you over indulge and and then when you feel like you're done with it, it haunts you and does wicked things to you.

Everything has a price, and are you willing to pay that price?

Someone who i thought cared about me, even though i was a mean person to them, has done alot of damage and doesn't even realise it. They've blatantly done things which have damaged me and the people around them.

Like alcohol, i started to let them in, but by morning break, everything was ill.

I don't know if im making much sense. You might get the jist of it.. Night.

I am Andy.

Working!?

Evening Blog readers and what not..

I'm applying for my very first job! Yes, i know, I'm 16 and I'm only applying for my first one now? Well you see, I've never had the time. When i lived in Melbourne, I'd get up at 6 O'clock, get reayd and leave at 7, then catch a bus, a train and another 2 buses to school. All up it was two hours long! In the afternoon it would be around the same and I'd get home at 5:30, so i was very tired and never had any time for anything!

Now I've moved, I'm applying for a job.. Mainly because i have bills to pay, because I'm frivilous and think i can get away with spending my parents money.

I'm very self concious and seeing as it is working in a Department store, I'm worried of how i will go. If i get the job, i know i'll freak out over little things. I'll worry on what my co-workes think of me and what the people i'm serving will think. All up I'm prettttty scared lol.

But it's money, so im going to have to put up with it.

Anyway. I'm in one of those depresso moods where i've been pondering over things and i realise i really am not a happy person. Hahaha. Anywwaaaaaayyyy.

I am Andy.

Currently listening to:
Chase Coy - Take me away
Currently watching:
N/A
Favourite lolly:

Jelly Snakes!

p.s for some reason, coding is still being mean and ruining my typing layout!

Not about a friend.

But infact about an enemy.

Evening blog readers and what not..

I'd just like to express my hate for humanity. I'm quite the hateful person and i generally hate close to 98% of everything ever made, but humanity has to be up the top of my list.

Never has there been such a hateful, disgusting race on this planet. Men think they can strut around and destroy everything they touch. We spew waste into the environment, poisoning waters, flattening forests and burning fields. We commit mass slaughter to feed ourselves and think everything is okay. Species of plants and animals have been crushed beneath the force of the hands of humans, and we're pushing many to it today. This planet would be a better place without Humans.

Another attribute humans seemed to have been so lucky to have been blessed with is how selfish every human seems to be. People steal, lie and murder. In every way, people will use anything they have to ruin and destroy anyone who has a better life than them. People can talk and lie and bring a persons life down around their ankles in seconds, all because they can and they're jealous.

Why do humans feel they have the right to do whatever they please? If there was a God, he'd correct his mistakes and wipe the planet of all Humans, but then.. He'd be no better than any Human he created, would he?

I am Andy.

Currently listening to:
Owl City - Dear Vienna
Currently watching:
N/A
Favourite place:
Melbourne City.

Stephanie.

Evening blog readers and what not.

Well well well, look who it is. Yes i know, it's been a while! I'm neglectful! I'll never be a good father! I've decided to write a new blog about another friend. She's the most rational, and one of the smartest people I know!

Steb.

Steb has been so very kind to me from, well, around the beginning. Although we started off with a rather.. interesting beginning, as did all of my friendships from my last school, I cannot thank her enough for moving past everything and letting the friendship be a go ahead. Year 8 and 9 were unforgetable years with laughs, and i will appreciate Steb supporting me through my struggles at school. I've spent many years with Steb, in class, in the 'playground', at each others houses and out and about. These times with her have been the best. She's extremely funny, and we understand each other completely. Never have we fought to the extent where we are so angry at each other that we don't speak to each other, and I really have to thank Steb for that, for being tolerant and understanding of my character. She is a forgiving, easy going, friendly person and I will ALWAYS be friends with her through thick and thin. Never has a friend made such an impact on my life. xo

I am Andy.

Currently listening to:
Jamestown Story - Take me home

Currently watching:
Packed to the Rafters

Favourite music:
Acoustic!

p.s the coding keeps being meant o me and won't let me make my writing small! i know! it's ugly and sad! :(

Taylor.

Evening blog readers and what not.

I decided to write a blog about all of my dearest friends, and thought I'd begin with my good friend who is farthest away. Her name is..

Taytay.

We met a long time ago when we were young, while I was living in Brisbane. We didn't see each other that often, cause we simply knew each other through friends. Our friendship didn't flower untill recently. One random night, we began talking on msn and making stupid jokes to each other. After talking every so often on msn, it became a nightly thing, eventually we called each other for Christmas and new years and got all excited over how much our voices had changed. The chat's on msn kept on going untill eventually, Tay's msn got hacked by some random faggot who likes to ruin lives. She called me quite upset and wanted to figure out how to get it back. She didn't get it back untill recently, but from there on we started speaking on the phone every night. We spoke on the phone close to every night for a whole year! Untill she went to Canada on exchange. Now she's back and the large phone bills are rolling in.

Taylor and I have a great understanding of one another, and our personalities really compliment each other as we share the same humour. She's hilarious and says the stupidest things sometimes, but it just adds to her charm. I'm not saying we don't have our little lame arguments, but we see past everything and see each other for who we are. Without Taylor this past year, I wouldn't have made it. Taylor is always going to be on my mind and more importantly my heart. xo

I am Andy.

Bush fires.

Evening blog readers and what not.

First of all, I'd like to point out the contradiction Australia makes every year. In southern parts of Australia, around this time of year, we experience severe bush fires (as we are now) yet up north there is flash flooding? Get some massive pipes up there and save up all that water, we're in a drought for gods sake.

Moving on, today I've been rather stressed, even though I've been convinced there's no need to be. A 30 000 hectare bush fire has been unleashed about 45 minutes down the road from my house, and as I sit here and type, it is terrorising Australian flora and fauna, not to mention people. The state has gone pretty much into panic mode, as fires break out everywhere, even razing suburban areas.

To check out the fires, go here:

http://www.dse.vic.gov.au/DSE/nrenfoe.nsf/LinkView/519C51D981DAE41FCA257257000A5163DC25C965BDA0CAF5CA2573B400013504

I can't help but feel upset over the whole experience, knowing people have suffered and died in the raging flames (Current total: 45 lives lost). I do hope everything is taken under control of ASAP.. And I hope everyone stays safe.

I am Andy.

Currently listening to:
City and Colour - Missing (it's quite appropriate for today)

Currently watching:
The Kite Runner.

Favourite meal:
Chicken schnitzel and chips!

Lyrical Inspiration.

Evening blog readers and what not.

Okay, when people listen to music, you hear people talking about certain instruments, vocals or even, sadly, "bass". When i listen to music, I listen to the lyrics. Lyrics are the heart and soul of the music and I believe the most important aspect in picking my favourite songs. If the lyrics are meaningful and I can relate to them, then I will love it. This is going to be a short post, because I'm just going to post a song which I've known for a while and loved for it's lyrics, but they haven't really meant anything until recently. If you listen, and have read my posts or know me, you will get the jist of what I mean.

*Note, I can't find any kind of way for you to listen to his song other than going to www.myspace.com/tommilekovic And listen to "In the End" + his other songs, they're beautiful.*

Lyrics:

You don't realise what it means to you until it's gone
Taking things for granted you might do it but it won't last long
In the end we will all lose something and we must carry on
Left with a reminder, one showing us just where we went wrong
Just where we went wrong

You saw this coming yeah you saw the signs but you chose to ignore
Making all the same mistakes as you had time and time before
Don't you learn or are you selfish and you think you matter more
Than those people trying to help you why do you think they do it for?

There's a reason why we're not alone
It's so we don't have to face things on our own
All the people, people that we know
They all care for someone else and that's the way it goes

I am Andy.

Currently listening to:
Tom Milekovic - In the End

Currently watching:
N/A

Favourite ice cream:
Banana

My school uniform itches.

Evening blog readers and what not.

Today was my first day back at school, and boy oh boy can I not over emphasise how terrible I feel. As soon as I put on my uniform, it set in and I was tired of school already. My classes were okay, Literature was great.. But the others seemed very, plain and simply boring and empty.

First period didn't run today, as we had an assembly and we also had to get lockers, etc. Second period was RE. I knew no one in the class and I sat by myself. (Although, I did speak to one of the students in the class at recess and they told me to sit with them next lesson.) And yes I know, you're asking "Why oh why did you pick RE, good sir?" and if you did ask me that question, I would answer with "My school made me." It's a shame where it comes to such an important time in your life, where every class you pick counts, and the school you're going to considers itself and it's religion more important than you're future. Luckily, I some how managed to fluke and select the RE which is more about Social studies, we looked into Social Injustice today.

It was then recess, where I spent most of my time in an office with two of my friends because their timetables were mixed up.

Period 3 & 4 were Literature, which has practically all my friends in it, was a blast. It was funny and we read an interesting story about a white South African family who lived in South Africa during the Apartheid they had in place. They put up all these walls and alarms and eventually, some razor-laced wire. Their small child read a book about Sleeping Beauty, I presume, and was inspired to climb the "castles walls" and crawl through the tunnel of "thorns". He was cut up and died. Ironic how they put up all these precautions to protect themselves, but in the long run it did more damage.

Lunch time again, I was with 2 friends in an office, then i left because i was bored and sat with my friends.

Period 5 was Maths. Our teacher rambled about pointless stuff and then gave us some work sheet which didn't require much brain power for most (although it did for me for I am brain dead.)

Period 6 was Year 12 Legal Studies. Oh my god, never have i freaked out so much in my life. Luckily this year I'm in the class with someone in my year level, where as last year I was by myself with all year 11's! The best news I heard all day was in that class, and it was that I don't have to go to school on friday. The worst was i have a SAC next friday. And i also got homework for Legal.

Oh well, school is back and I'm going to be very busy for the first few weeks, I'll give up eventually. Oh by the way, if you're saying "Your uniform itches?! Oh dear, wash it!" then you're stupid. It is a metaphor on how uncomfortable I feel with going back to school. :)

I am Andy.

Currently listening to:
Undeserv'd - Will Sturgeon.

Currently watching:
Desperate housewives (in a few minutes!)

Favourite milkshake:
Banana!